Yes, I’m Back Again.

I am probably the worst example of sports, I try, but im just not very good. Despite being busy at work and some such when It comes to exercise I am lazy.

Now, the one time I actually wanted to go the gym or get into a game of hockey. THE ONE TIME. I feel sick and I wanna sleep. My head hurts,and im sat in our common room, alone and the thing I resort to, writing. Like always. However much my head hurts I don’t mind focusing on writing, it calms me in other ways. Whoever has left me, writing is almost like a diary, being able to let out how I feel. I hate feeling ill, I’m perfectly happy, in fact yesterday was perfect, but I just feel ill. That’s all.

I hate when people question of im actually ill. Yes I am XD or at the very least I feel it. I woulden’t feel this way on purpose and it annoys me that people ask. I guess I’m here to rant, who’s not sometimes. But also im here to show that this is yet another time I can rely on writing. Yet another time that his hat writing calms and brings ne back to feeling positive and trying to take my mind off anything negative. It’s gonna be a good day. To anyone else feeling a tad crap, your day is gonna be good too.

Has there been a time you’ve been reliant on writing? 

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Today. Tomorrow. The Next Day.

I was reading this morning a book about my star sign, Capricorn. I try to read it and not let the parts I disagree with get me down. One part that I did agree with was that it said I have a very long term mind, I think for the future rather than living each day like its my last. I wish I was more inclined to live in the moment, and to be honest in many ways I think I do. However today I feel very much in the moment. Halloween preparations, lunch with friends and most of all knowing Jack is back (my boyfriend). All week i’ve known hes not far away, but its made me cherish him even more, and has made me excited and relieved that soon we can talk as normal. I think all of these horoscope books are great, but only to  fun degree, at the end of the day no one person will be identical to their star signs persona but everyone will have elements and its better that way, or we’d all be 1 of 12 things.

This book I have tells me what to expect from everyday, but to be honest I don’t want to know what each day  will bring, otherwise the experience will be considerably less of a surprise and for that reason potentially less enjoyable. I look at the end of the day, I look to see if it matches, and if it does to get a little excitement from it.I don’t want something writing my life, but at the same time, I would just merely like to know everything turns out just fine. Wouldn’t we all?

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Buses and why they SUCK

I feel this post is a long time coming, and what better time than when they randomly changed their timetable so I missed my bus after work and become stuck in the cold for an extra hour. 

Don’t get me wrong, buses help me alot. However why change the timetable with no warning so it’s guaranteed those who use a certain bus every day will miss it due to lack of information supplied.

This isn’t a rant, this is well..A rant. However we all need a rant sometimes. Someone pushed in front of me in the queue, my coat broke or my boss stripped my wages. Rants can range from wrong place wrong time to darn right frustrating things.

My hands are so cold autocorrect is saving my grammar currently. I think this is the first time autocorrect has actually helped rather than just changed all my words to expletives. See, in many ways we rely on autocorrect too. Although in other ways it is the most frustrating thing. Of course the one time i actually want to say something it changes it to ‘Duck’ off. We all have something we rely on that goes wrong. 

Right, on the bus. Wow even harder to type here than outside in the Antarctic. The bus is no smooth sailing journey more of a bucking bronco. However saying all this I do rely on this and id be pretty stuck without buses. There are too many bus ‘relatables’ to run through here. So why don’t you drop a comment below. My personal favourite is attempting to lean on the windows to close your eyes for a second only to nearly whack your head so hard on the glass you could have been a emergency hammer.

Now I go home, get there about 8:45 and do what I do best..absolutely nothing. Nothing is something everyone should do a bit more. 

The Impact of Music:

Music has always been a massive part of my life. Its been something I rely on, trust and what has truly brought me to some of the happiest moments in my life. However i’m feeling, however upset, when the Hairspray soundtrack comes on, you can’t hold me back from dancing round the room. My taste of music is as diverse as they go. It can go from hardcore rock to ballads or musical theatre. Music can come in any forms, even in the sense of whether you listen, write or perform. Maybe you do all 3 like me.

I’ve always wondered if the songs I like, I like because of the songs themselves or the memories i associate to them. My dad always say its impressive how many lyrics of songs I know and to me, I know it must be due to the fact every song I listen to, I listen to the message. I listen to a song because I relate or I find a way to. I know these power ballads aren’t meaningless. I know they have a message behind them that is unique and I focus on listening to every word.

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How to get Inspiration:

Inspiration:

In-spir-a-tion. Have you ever sat by your laptop, saying, right I’m going to be creative. You then proceed to just say the word creative with different inflections and tones, maybe you sing it. Maybe you google it (at the end of the day, what can’t you google?)

You sit there, with a notebook and pen, tapping your pen to its own tune, the tune of NO BLOODY IDEAS. No, today is the day you start a novel. Romance, Thriller? Action? Romance is always what I went to. I wrote a novel when I was 13. Got to 100 pages which sure, in life is not a long book. When your 13, it’s a thousand novels.

Since having what is commonly referred to as ‘writers block’ its made me realise just how screwed id be if I lived when all I had was a type writer. I’m the queen of getting into an action packed page of literature, and then deleting the entire thing. With the technology of word its fine. Not so much back in the day.

As you can see just by writing this I’m procrastinating. I admit it. Starting new things is hard. The moment i get an idea i’m passionate about , i don’t stop. I sit there and type all day and night. you have to get that focal point, that idea, that love. When i  wrote my ‘novel’ when i was 13, i wrote about love. I loved love. the idea of it. Was that because of Disney? Was that because all i saw around me was all my friends already getting boyfriends?

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The Future.

All I hear around me is:

‘oh god i’m getting so old.’
In majority of cases these are people who are far from the later years in their life and in actual fact, very young. I’m one of few people who sees growing old, or even older, as a positive thing. I’m a family girl and to me, when i visualise growing old, i see myself with the love of my life and family which makes every year a good one.

If you ask anyone i know, and you ask: what the most romantic thing I ever saw was. They’ll answer: 
 the elderly couple on the bench in the local park. What i saw was 2 people, around their 80’s. Sat looking over the river, both had a sketch pad and they were both drawing, their brush in one hand. In the other was the others hand. This image, was beautiful to me. It was everything I wanted. They were themselves, together and that to me is perfect. I only saw them for a second, if i had taken a photo of that image it would have encompassed happiness for me.

Life is a process and in that process we go through many things. I’m very early in mine but I fully accept that I will grow older. I don’t know what will happen and at this point in my life their are so many paths available its hard to know which to choose. However what i find comforting is knowing that at the end of it all, i’ll have a family, ill be in love and i’ll have that person to hold my hand by the river.

The far future doesn’t scare me, i know things will work out or more than that i hope things will. I would say most people worry more about the near future rather than the far and that’s because the near is commonly right now. No one likes making decisions, and right now means decisions.

If i had a brain that worked logically then i would weigh up the options, see whats the best decision in every aspect. If you ask anyone for advice on how to make a life changing decision, they’ll say that. Does anyone actually do it? Can anyone actually do it? We go with whats right at the time and that changes how we get to our final destination. I have no idea what i will choose now, but i know it will all turn out okay in the end.